


can you hear me screaming; please don't leave me?

by vampyrolover



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-12 00:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19217620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampyrolover/pseuds/vampyrolover
Summary: Alex and Lena have the perfect life, even with the constant nuisances. They manage to deal and accept easily the pain and confusion that frequently enter their lives, always living between life and death, with Lena’s gift to see beyond life, and Alex in contact with danger through her job as a paramedic. But what happens when such gift doesn’t help them preventing the loss of what they loved most?(𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘳 𝘈𝘜)





	1. Come back, I still need you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆,  
> 𝑰 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍.  
> 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕,  
> 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈;  
> 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦?

“ _Please_ , do this for me.”

“What? Witness, and endure something I don’t even believe in?”

“ _Yes_.”

Emerald eyes met soft brown ones, an incredulous look taking place upon Lena’s expression at the redhead’s agreement, and it was only when a small smirk graced Alex’s features that she actually melted back into the loving, supportive wife she was trying to be.

“Oh, come on, Lena, you can’t possibly hate straight weddings _that_ much.”

“It's not that –”

As usual, she fell prey to her wife’s playfulness, nearly always being incapable to somewhat understand such intention until someone was rolling her eyes at her, but at that moment, she had a pretty good reason why she couldn’t understand her jokes.

Although they were both good friends of them – mostly Alex than herself if she was being honest – she couldn’t find it in herself the ability to believe in the wedding she was about to witness, even if she was willing herself to do so for the woman she loved. Truth was, everything surrounding them was perfect. The small cabin that was given to them with privacy purposes, the magnificently refreshing woods around them, even the rapidly made-up venue the bride had come up with for their special day, but she _still_ couldn’t find the strength to believe in that couple, much less their ceremony.

“Please, baby, do it for me. We’ll be out of here in no time.”

Fact was, even if she wished to trust those words – no longer acting against her will towards that wedding – the tremendously high possibility of one of her friends showing up was terrifying her to no end, refusing to having to deal with that if she had to be present. Yet, no matter what, a small, genuine grin curled at her lips, and she nodded slowly in agreement.

“Only if you save me a dance.”

“As you wish.”

How much distress could they get into, anyway? Aware of the fact that Alex had a knack for finding trouble where there shouldn’t be none, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and reluctantly began getting ready for the service.

 

 

. . .

 

 

There was an eerie silence, and it was dark.

It was  **so**  dark.

What her wife would normally describe as **gut feeling** had helped her knowing that something was wrong, which then only worsened when she had repeatedly attempted to contact her, and she didn’t answer a single call. Not to mention the warning she had received from one of  _her_  ghosts as her best friend would so kindly put it.

Calling Oliver without an actual explanation for the urgency in her tone was one of the hardest parts because, truly, what could she say?

 

_Hey, I’m gonna need you to rush to this address, **now** , Alex is in there and I’m pretty sure she’s in danger._

 

That _maybe_ wouldn’t have worked. Instead, she opted to tell him that she had gone back to the lake house where their friends’ wedding was supposed to have taken place, letting him know that she was alone with the groom – who also happened to be a criminal and quite possibly mentally unstable, as if the whole urgency in itself wasn’t terrible enough. She had  **begged**  him to rush there, not to lose any time and just get there before it was too late – and she thanked her wife’s fantastic nature and work that earned her all those many allies.

Somehow, she still managed to get there faster, however, but the detective was there two seconds later, preventing her from rushing in the house and get herself in danger in the process.

“Don’t do anything reckless, Lena–”

“Oliver–”

“I got this.”

Darkness enveloped them, and she struggled to see whatever was happening in the house from her spot on the street, but she did catch how the cop hid himself behind one of the trees that surrounded them, gun in hand, one of his fingers resting beside the trigger in case it needed to be pulled. She **hoped** it wouldn’t come that far.

By the time she did manage to understand anything that was happening behind those closed doors, the images were all too blurry, her eyes capturing shadows that moved frantically, and she only noticed that two figures were struggling to get a hold of a weapon when Oliver barely stepped out of his hiding place to get a better look as well.

It only occurred to her then that none of them knew which of those figures was Alex, and when it seemed that they had finally stopped fighting for the shotgun, one of them getting a hold of it, the male outside with her fully stepped away from the tree and pulled the trigger, effectively shooting the one currently holding the weapon.

_Her earlier thoughts came to mind, her awareness on the fact Alex would constantly find herself in trouble, and all she could do was hope that it was **not** her._

Her breath hitched, her ears rang from the gun being fired and glass shattering, and she waited, watching with fear in her eyes as the injured individual stumbled backwards, toward the window, before crumbling to their knees, their bloody shoulder coming to view before  _her wife_  looked out with a pained expression, searching for whoever had wounded her.

“ _No_!”

She let out a deafening shout, tears welling up in her eyes when she finally fell to the floor and out of view, no longer fighting to keep herself together.

“ _Alex_!”

She ran inside the house, throwing the door open, before rushing to her side, not even bothering to make sure whether the other person had retrieved the gun, even if their lives depended on it. She hoped that Oliver would be able to keep the rest of the situation under control – as much as he could, really, until the rest of his squad arrived to the scene – since he had done plenty, and even if she knew, rationally, that he hadn’t meant to harm Alex, she still found herself blaming everyone, in an attempt not to blame herself for not coming or noticing the danger faster.

Oddly enough, an ambulance didn’t take long arriving to the house either, and she assumed it had been because she had practically scared the detective to get there as fast as possible, making it seem like it was a life or death situation – little had she known that it would, indeed, turn out to be like that.

“Alex, baby,” Her fingers threaded through her red hair, swallowing the lump in her throat when neither her voice or touch brought her out of her unconsciousness. “...please, darling, not like this.”

One of the medics pushed her out of the way once they entered the house and took in the situation, and she didn’t even struggle, – much to her own surprise, since she figured she’d put up a fight – her fear coursing through her veins, making her blood run cold, at the mere prospect of losing the love of her life. That didn’t stop her from observing every little thing they did to her wife though, watching as they tried to stop the bleeding and immediately attached her to wires that she  **knew**  which purpose they had, yet was too terrified to even think of it, and once she was lying on the stretcher, she rapidly crawled back to her side.

“Danvers, can you hear me?” The paramedic that had successfully managed to pull her away spoke up, pressing one of his hands gently against his covered wound. “It’s Barry, can you please open your eyes for me? I’m here with Lena–”

Those warm, full of concern blue eyes turned to her for a second, and she could feel as tears spilled down her cheeks, no matter how hard she tried to hold them back.

“Please, wake up, bud. I do recall you hating when your wife cried, no matter how beautiful you insisted on saying she was, even under such circumstances. So how about you open those eyes for us, if you can? Can you hear me?”

“Alex, please wake up.” She pleaded with her, one of her hands trailing down to find one of hers and gripping tightly onto it. “Please,  **please**  wake up, baby.”

Her eyes fluttered, and relief washed over her immediately, even if it was clear how much she struggled to fully open them to look up at her – a smile instantly gracing her lips once she did catch a glimpse of her, although blurry.

“Lena–”

“I’m here.”

“…hey.”

“I’m so sorry,” She choked out, her fingers tightening around hers whilst she ran her free hand through her red locks once more. “…oh my god, I’m so sorry. I should’ve – I should’ve seen the signs, I should’ve noticed them sooner – I should’ve gotten here faster, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

Blinking rapidly, she felt her tears falling down her cheeks faster as she took in the faint, slow movement of her head when she shook it, brushing her apologies aside whilst she husked out words that she didn’t deserve – comfort that she barely managed to accept at that moment.

“It’s okay.” She continued with plenty of effort, her voice quiet and hoarse. “There’s no pain.”

“You don’t have to be brave.”

“No, Lena, I – there’s really no pain. I’m in shock, honey, I don’t feel any pain.”

“Alex–”

A choked sob escaped her lips upon hearing those words, and she considered struggling against the paramedics when they prepared to lift her and wheel her out of the house to the emergency vehicle, so they could take her to the hospital before she lost any more blood.

“I’m okay, baby–” The rest of her words died in her throat when they finally did lift her, turning into a low, pained groan as her eyes shot open. “…ugh, guys, it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel that.”

She quickly followed them out, and finally noticed what had happened to the groom – who was currently handcuffed and being pushed inside a police car. Approaching the ambulance, she let a faint smile form across her plump lips when she peeked an eye open and smirked goofily at her, too.

“I’m sorry about our date.”

“It’s okay.”

“Rain check?”

She was pushed in the ambulance then, but her eyes didn’t lose their contact with hers, and if that overwhelming sensation of dread wasn’t currently affecting every single one of her senses, she’d have probably laughed at how she waited for a confirmation.

_Always the gentlewoman._

“I’ll hold you to that.”

And from then on, it was all a blur.

Going to the hospital.

Watching as they wheeled her towards the nearest, empty yet prepared O.R. whilst Lena was left behind with her belongings.

Sitting in the waiting room with her wedding ring on her hand, eyeing it throughout the entire time she was being operated on, still fearing the worst.

Sam holding her other hand, fingers interlaced with hers.

Winn eventually coming in as well, holding three different kind of drinks – coffee, tea and hot chocolate because he wasn’t sure what she was in the mood for.

 

“ _She was supposed to be out of surgery 40 minutes ago.”_

_“Mrs. Danvers?”_

 

 

...

 

 

_“Her surgery was successful, and she’s stable. If you’d like, I can walk you to her room.”_

 

Her world had stopped then, and she was only able to focus on the fact she was – alive and stable, which was all that mattered to her. She had allowed herself to be guided towards her room where she was still unconscious, and recovering, and she had no recollection of what happened afterwards, up until the moment she drifted off into a light slumber in that uncomfortable chair by her side, fingers still gripping tightly onto the wedding band.

Yet, she could somewhat recall the doctor telling her she was still under observation for the night, to prevent any risks of infection, and because of their need to keep an eye out for an embolism that was a high possibility with gunshot wounds. 

 

 _Which deep down, she was aware of, but she had still let herself fall asleep by her side with the single thought that her ghost had crossed over, the groom had been arrested, and her wife was going to be okay_.

 

She had paced back and forth in the room, _impatiently_ waiting for those soft eyes to open, but had eventually tired herself out, proceeding to fall asleep against her will. By the time she woke up again, those warm eyes she had been eager to see looking back at her were, indeed, watching her carefully, and a lazy, happy smile instantly found its way to her features.

“You’re awake.”

A deep, heavy sigh escaped her lips, and she instantly furrowed her brows, wondering if she was in pain – and if so, why wasn’t she lying in bed like she was supposed to, and therefore preventing her pain to get any worse?

 

_She knew the reply to that, **Alexandra Danvers** never allowed anyone to boss her around, surely not any injury or doctor trying to advise the best for her, always choosing the hardest, longest path for herself._

 

“You’re more beautiful every time I see you.”

“I love you.”

This time, a pained, small laugh slid past her lips, – sounding more like a huff of breath – and she dropped her smile instantly.

“Lena, there’s a thing that happened, um,”

“Alex, let me get you someone, okay?”

“...it’s, um, called an embolism–”

“Let me get you a doctor–”

She  **knew**  what that meant.

She  **knew**  what that technical term meant, she was quite familiar with it.

“No, please – _please_ , don’t go, don’t – don’t look at me, Lena, please… I want you to remember me this way, please.”

“Alex, what? Let me–” Her eyes drifted to the bed, and back at her wife, tears instantly welling up in her eyes because she also knew what  **that**  meant.

The continued beeping sound echoed off the walls, and a tiny, soft gasp escaped her lips when reality finally dawned on her. She tried to keep looking back at the bed, but Alex’s ghost stepped in her line of sight each time, before the room was flooded with doctors that attempted to bring her back.

 

_No pulse._

_Start compressions._

 

Slowly, and full of fear, Lena slipped out of her seat and stood on her feet instead, stepping away from the bed to give the medical team enough space to give her partner the help she needed, yet still not far enough that she couldn’t see what was happening.

“I’ll always love you, Lena.”

“ _No_.”

“Always.”

“ _No_! Please–” She cried out, eyes drifting back and forth from her ghost to her lifeless body.

“...please, not you, please – Alex, please, _not_ you–”

A heartbreaking, loud sob broke free when she  **disappeared** , leaving her alone with her unmoving body and a medical team that, eventually, gave up on trying to bring her back. She pushed her way through them, and collapsed on the bed next to her, covering her body with her own as it shook with violent sobs, the sounds that left her lips growing louder when she buried her face in the crook of her neck and found no pulse.

_No signs of life_.

 

“ _Please_ ,”

Comforting, but at the same time, suffocating – familiar, nonetheless – hands trailed up her back when she refused to leave her body, and she was thankful that her best friend didn’t even try to pull her away, no matter how much it was hurting and killing her being so close, yet so far.

“... _please,_ not you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Alex/Lena fanfiction, so go easy on me. Truth is, I've strongly decided to do this as an ever-ending gift for my girlfriend (because I'll most likely not end it anytime soon - kidding, I'll do my best), but I just wanted to give a little warning;
> 
> as weird as this may sound, this is not actually my first attempt at writing something similar, by which I mean, I have tried in the past writing it for another fandom, but eventually gave up, and therefore lost it. Although it may be unbelievably coincidental finding someone that has read the other version, I wanted to make sure I gave an explanation before making it look like stealing - which would be instantly erased as an option considering the amount of ranting I'm doing, that so happened to be the case before - and here, I find myself realising this is a better couple for the scenario. With nothing more to add, I hope that you enjoy it! It'll be damn painful.


	2. I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍,  
> 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆   
> 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍.   
> 𝑰 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏   
> 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒈   
> 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅   
> 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅.

“What is this place?”

One second, she was protecting her wife from the harsh reality of having to live without her, and another—

She was pulled away from the room, from her body, from **her** , and had been transported to a dimension she was not familiar with. 

Or so she thought, because when she took a step forward, consequently exiting the house to stand on the porch, she could see her father standing by the lake.

“Where am I?”

“Your mother–”

Fearfully, she approached the man, and although she had been eager to see him for so long, she frankly couldn’t find it in herself to appreciate the moment — if she could consider it as such. Truth was, meeting Lena — really _knowing_ Lena — had given her the sense of hope that one day, again, she would be able to see her father, if only for a last time. When that thought was planted in her mind, she hadn’t expected it to be that way.

“. . .she’d hate when I brought this up, every year. It’s a small family trip, we need time together, how bad could it be?”

“Dad—”

“I remember the last time we came here.” His smile was warm, fatherly, when he turned to face her and she instantly returned it. There was no denying she was scared, surely not the fact that she was dying to get back to her wife, which was — quite a poor choice of words — but she still wanted to listened to him. See him.

If only… for a **last** time.

“It was after — well, you _know_. You refused to get on the boat, your mother didn’t find the courage to push it, to convince you to try it like you always did, because — the last thing you needed after losing your father was to go fishing.”

“She meant well.”

“She always meant well.”

“Dad, I need—”

“I wanted to get back to you, too, sweetheart. To all of you. But that wasn’t possible, just like it’s not possible for you to get back to Lena now. I waited for you, so we could cross over together.”

“I can’t, no—”

Alex knitted her brows in concentration, and her eyes fluttered shut because —

...she could have sworn she just heard her.

“You don’t understand, she needs me.”

“Honey—”

The thought of leaving it all behind, — her life, Lena, _Kara_ , she just…

—couldn’t.

So, instead of listening to her father, or staying with him a little while longer, missing him proved to not be enough to stop her from storming back inside the house, frowning when she found herself standing in the middle of a long hall, numerous doors across it.

The first door she opened abruptly showed her one of her best memories, a smile instantly forming on her features as she leaned against the doorframe and watched with great sadness as images unfolded in front of her.

 

_“Shoot it!”_

_“But—”_

_Green orbs were undoubtedly conflicted, and that particular competitive side of Alex urged her to simply ignore the woman’s confusion and keep playing, but the truth was that she was already too far gone for Lena to be able to do so._

_“How am I supposed to shoot without thinking of how to do so first?”_

_“It’s. .air hockey.”_

_She muttered as if that should have been obvious from the beginning._

_“You don’t think about it, you just — wait, Lee? Are you playing this by trajectories?”_

_“How else am I supposed to play this?”_

_And_ **_that_ ** _—that had been the reason why she couldn’t bring herself to be competitive. Neither ignore the fondness that filled her heart each time she thought of that woman, and her fantastic brain._

_“Lena, you’re supposed to be relaxing, — you know what? Let’s play foosball.”_

_“And what makes you believe I won’t find math in that game, too?”_

_“You know, I’m a huge fan of math,”_

_Her arm wrapped around the brunette’s shoulders as she spoke, leading her to the table at a slow pace._

_“But if you do that, I’m taking us home way before you can even play it. There’s no way I’m allowing you to ruin foosball for me.”_

 

Reluctantly, she closed the door, and released a shuddering breath, wishing she could go back to that night where she was alive, and beyond prepared for the long, beautiful journey that awaited her, with _her_.

Eager to move forward, and go back to Lena, Alex swallowed thickly and closed that door so she could move to another, feeling as tears welled up in her eyes at another one of her memories that was revealed, lips quirking up in a small smile even if all of it hurt — like hell.

She had always hoped that pain would end under such circumstances, but that strong, breathtaking woman had showed her the otherwise.

 

_“No, no, listen—”_

_She kicked and huffed against one of the firefighters trying to push her out of harm’s way, but she was surprisingly strong — and_ **_stubborn_ ** _which only brought a smile to the redhead’s lips._

_“Wait, wait —_ **stop** _, she’s trying to tell us something.”_

_“But, Captain—”_

_Alex had yet to get used to the term, the recent position as a replacement for their Captain having appeared so suddenly she found it hard to consider it her current job—even if only temporarily—and so she nearly didn’t even react to the words, waving her colleague off afterwards before fully turning to face the gorgeous brunette._

_She was familiar, that much she could tell—what became harder was figuring out from where did she know her. But a small voice in the back of her head somewhat reminded her she had once met her through her sister._

_“There’s someone—”_

_“Yes, Captain,_ **_someone_ ** _.”_

_She was sassy, too, and she found herself smiling harder._

_“Where?”_

_“4th floor. It’s a child, please—hurry.”_

_At the time, she hadn’t even considered questioning where she had gotten that information from, neither giving the message off to one of her firefighters that had already ventured in through merciless flames. Instead, she threw herself into that hot, unforgiving fire, following that woman’s lead without a second thought._

_“How did you know?”_

_She had asked by the time she had managed to run out with a child in her arms, out of breath, full of adrenaline and ridiculously curious over something that_ **_had_ ** _to be a coincidence. She hadn’t missed the deep concern hidden in those mesmerising green orbs, but she was too caught up in figuring out how that happened to address it, nearly losing an opportunity to know her better._

_“I don’t think you can handle the truth, Captain.”_

_Her smile, however—it was worth being a clueless dork._

 

God, her smile. She needed to see that smile again.

Turning away, without even bothering to close the door, she ran towards another, opening it and –

 

_“Dinner, hm? You already saved me once tonight. Are you sure you want another try at it?”_

 

She shut it loudly, repeating the same process with another door, and letting out a frustrated, pained groan upon finding another memory.

This time, however –

 

_...this time, it was their wedding day, and as she watched herself and the love of her life – playfully dipping her after a turn and the bride,_ **_her_ ** _bride, released a happy laugh before curling into her once more as the couple went back to move slightly to the beat of the song – a melancholic smile made its way to her features._

 

“Lee?” Se breathed, and – “...baby?”

Finally, she opened the one door that brought her back to her, jaw clenching when her surroundings started to melt away and she found herself standing on the doorway to the kitchen of their house, finding her wife sitting at the kitchen island with tired, sorrowful eyes, remnants of tears on her cheeks and a soft pout on her lips.

Sam was leaning against the counter, and Ruby moved towards where the dark—haired woman was sitting, placing a hot cup of tea in front of her.

“Ruby, honey, why don’t you go upstairs and run her a bath?”

“No, it’s fine – don’t worry about that.”

Her voice sounded so broken, so – empty.

She hated it.

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen her.” She continued then, and the ghost stepped forward, tilting her head in confusion with a soft frown. “It’s been two days, and she hasn’t come to me.”

“Maybe – I don’t know, maybe she crossed over.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“But wouldn’t she have said goodbye?”

Their best friend sent a glare in her daughter’s direction, clearly trying to show her that was **not** going to help in any way. That was **not** the kind of thing she needed to hear at that moment.

“I mean, she wouldn’t just leave, would she? It’s Alex.”

The teen continued nonetheless, completely oblivious, and she could see Lena’s throat bobbing, her jaw tightening, whilst Sam attempted to control herself not to growl at her daughter, and despite the current situation, she couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“Thanks for pointing that out.”

“Lena, baby, I’m right here.”

It was pointless, she didn’t – wouldn’t react to the sound of her voice, almost as if she wasn’t actually there and, technically, she wasn’t but for her –

...she was supposed to be there for her. She was supposed to see her.

“I’m right here with you.”

“I haven’t seen a single ghost since Alex died.”

Her breath hitched, and she desperately looked around, hoping that somehow, miraculously, anyone would be able to see her – even Sam or Ruby that didn’t have her wife’s gift.

“Honey, we have to set a date for the funeral.”

“I can’t–”

A sob bubbled out of Lena’s mouth, and she swallowed thickly, beginning to feel how heavy and overwhelming her tears were and wondering why ghosts crying was even a possible scenario.

“It’s too final, I just – I can’t.”

A thumping sound stole her attention, and she twirled on her heels, hurriedly heading towards the dining room where she found another ghost, obviously trying to attract her wife’s attention.

Her first instinct was to step towards it, but the feeling of Lena coming closer to her, even without the ability to see her, pulled her out of her haze, causing her to turn back around to face her once again, and the line between her brows only deepened when she realised that she thought **that** ghost was _her_.

“No, Lee – it’s not me.”

“Alex?”

“It’s not me, baby, –” She glanced over her shoulder, and growled out, “...stop it!”

...and just like that, the other ghost was gone. And so was her attention.

Being a ghost when her wife couldn’t communicate with her sucked. Well, being a ghost sucked, _period_ , but the fact Lena couldn’t see her only made it worse.

Somehow, and she was still trying to decide whether it was a good thing or not, she also got easily distracted. She managed to spend the entire night by her side, watching as she drifted in and out of consciousness frequently, unable to stop herself from crying the whole time, and she hated that she couldn’t do anything to comfort her – she couldn’t even wipe her tears away anymore, and that was her job. It was _her_ job to comfort her, make her feel better, make her happy.

But once morning came, her attention was everywhere – on what she did, on what she avoided, on who came to visit her and who didn’t, if she would eat or take care of herself at least a little or not, and it only stopped when her mother stepped through that door.

Then, she was no longer distracted.

The first thing Eliza focused on after she closed the door behind her, completely unaware of her daughter’s presence, was her uniform and wedding ring that were neatly placed on top of the table by the door. Her fingers grazed both objects, and Alex couldn’t help it –

She choked out, “...mom!” trying to touch her cheek, trying to stroke her tears away, only to be pulled back to the lake house where her father waited for her.

“I–”

“I know it hurts, honey.”

“She can’t see me, why – why can’t she see me?”

“She can’t see through her grief, Alex. It’s too personal for her, it has blocked her gift – once she finds some joy again, it’ll come back.”

“How do I – how do I do that?”

“You’re not the one who has to do that now, sweetheart, not anymore.”

She knew that her father meant well, too, but it was all so devastating, so emotional – she felt suffocated. So, she did what she knew best when it all became too much for her — she pulled back, stepping backwards and away from him once again, even as he tried to approach her.

“No!”

“ _Alexandra_ –”

The full—name caused her to freeze, and she looked desperately up at him, shaking her head rapidly as tears spilled down her cheeks.

“I can’t leave them – I can’t leave **her**. Not like this. She needs closure.”

It caught her off guard watching as her father nodded, not pushing her either, not trying to convince her to cross over, just like her mother had refused to push her to step on a boat, on that very place, in a ridiculous attempt to find some healing. 

It made her feel at peace, relaxed, for the first time ever since she realised she was dead. He wasn't pressuring her into to moving on and letting _her_ go.

“I miss you so much.” Her attention was dispersing once more, pulled away from her father and captured by her wife’s voice, leading her to focus on the water below her as her face came to view. “Everything hurts.”

In a blink of an eye, she was standing on the porch next to her again, her father gone, just her presence, her scent, and her voice surrounding her – and again, she wished she could see her.

“You’re in everything I do, I can’t – I don’t know how to keep going without you.” Emotion betrayed Lena, even when she tried to keep herself together, and she was, once again, releasing heartbreaking sobs.

“I didn’t want to leave.” She muttered, standing right behind her as her hand grazed a shoulder, but even then, it didn’t bring her back to her. “I don’t want to be without you, baby—I don’t want to _leave_ you.”

“If I could just get a sign–”

The rest of her words died in her throat when the front door of the house was thrown open, and Eliza stepped out, a cup of tea in her hand before she told her, softly, that she needed some rest, handing her the hot drink when she didn’t put up a fight and found her way back inside, a quiet, broken thank you on her lips.

Alex followed her in, too, not losing sight of her as she climbed upstairs, and she went right after her, sitting by the window when she crawled onto their bed after placing the cup of tea on the nightstand next to her. Her eyes were briefly stuck to her pillow, her side of the bed, before she forced herself to lay on her own side, facing away from where the paramedic would usually sleep, and she could feel her heart **breaking** at that.

She hated her pain.

She hated to be the cause of it.

She wanted to take it all away.

But still, being so impossible—she followed her everywhere. She followed her when the other ghost made another appearance and interrupted her sleep, followed her when she rushed downstairs, wondering if it was her, and repeatedly muttered the opposite, that she was right there, right next to her, with her – and that she wasn’t the one breaking all their things to grab her attention.

...and once she finally got some sleep, she followed her to the funeral home.

There were so **many** people there, people that she refused to leave behind, and despite her mother and sister being right there, as well, she couldn’t keep her eyes off the woman she loved, couldn’t stop her heart from breaking every time a tear slid down her cheek, and she clutched tighter to her picture.

Not long after that, Kara left her seat, and stood in front of all those people, opening and closing her mouth a couple of times as words failed her, before her gaze was drawn to the image of her.

She was in her uniform, and there was a glowing smile on her face — thinking back on it, she could have sworn that was the day after proposing to Lena.

“Sorry, I’m, uh–” Her sister seemed to be fighting with all her might against the force of tears that just kept coming, and she wished that she could comfort her, too. “I told myself I would – _could_ do this, but – I lost a sister, and somehow, that pain doesn’t even compare to the one of losing a daughter,” 

Blue eyes found Eliza before they settled on Lena who was staring down at her lap, biting her lower lip to keep any sounds from coming out. “...a wife, _the love of your life_. And I know, **I know** I’m supposed to be talking about loss – this giant, devastating loss that will change our lives severely, but the only thing that keeps coming to me is her smile. Her happiness, her will to live, her ability to fight against anything that threatened to break her, and how she would do it so effortlessly, as if none of that actually affected her. And, god – I knew her **so** well, and I knew she hurt, too, but she hid it just as well. She was just one of those people that would make your days better with a simple smile, — or a threat,” Everyone seemed to have a laugh for her, and surprisingly, so did she. 

“…and I admired her for that – I admired her strength.”

The girl paused, took a quick glance around her and pulled out her phone.

“She wouldn’t have wanted this,” She stated firmly while searching for an upbeat song, and the only thing Alex noticed was how her wife actually **laughed** at it, as if agreeing with that statement. “She left us so much, gave us so much. She would have probably mocked me for crying at her funeral, but she would have _hated_ this. We’re _better_ , because we got to know her.”

As soon as those words left Kara’s lips, a song filled the room, and one by one, people started to get up – to actually dance at her funeral – and she was _dumbfounded_. Sam reluctantly let herself be guided out of her seat, and only fully relaxed when the grieving wife nodded with a weak smile, but she couldn’t help noticing that she wasn’t moving out of her seat yet. 

Probably wouldn’t, eventually, either.

Plenty of people in uniforms that she recognised from work moved to the beat of the song, never letting go of that same picture that revealed pure happiness, and she laughed. There was no way she could deny that her sister was right – she was loving that, **that** was all she wanted. 

The song paused for a mere second, and her eyes rapidly swept over the room, watching with a raised eyebrow for what was to come before everyone started to dance again, and an oddly gleeful laugh escaped her lips.

Only then, emerald eyes found hers from the other side of the room.

She was **finally** seeing her.

Her hands dropped from where they were tucking the picture against her chest, and she smiled, tossing a wink in her direction while tilting her head sideways and instantly moving to where she was standing.

For the first time since her spirit left her body, the woman had actually stopped crying, and relief washed over her. Her arms curled around her neck, and Alex frowned, eyeing them carefully as she lifted her own hands in the air, leaving them uselessly by her sides, before she finally took upon herself the action of wrapping herself around her, too. Dead or not, she was always going to take pleasure in their closeness.

“I’m here.”

“I know.”

Slowly, they swayed to the beat of the song.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to post a new chapter, I'm sorry—life got in the way, and I have a very beautiful girlfriend to love. Yet I hope you're still with me!  
> I know, this is incredibly painful, even to me and hell—I'm the one who came up with this crazy idea—but I hope that you like it. I'd like to thank you all, too, for all of the views/kudos. I'm a little surprised, to be honest.


	3. Haunted by the ghost of you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘴  
> 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴  
> 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘵  
> 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒕.

That comforting sound of rain pouring madly outside replaced the odd silence in the house, and suddenly the darkness that surrounded her no longer felt as terrifying anymore. Darkness had never really been an issue to her, until she was forced to face it all on her own again, after so long.

Shortly after the funeral – which she had spent with Alex looking over her shoulder – Sam had awkwardly asked her if she had been dancing alone back at the funeral home, arms hanging in the air, and a dopey smile on her face. As carefully as she could not to sound like a complete lunatic, she told her that her wife hadn’t crossed over yet, she was **there** , with them, and after pleading with her not to tell Kara, nor Ruby just yet because that would mean having to prepare everyone for a goodbye which she wasn’t prepared for herself, she went home with her chasing after.

“People just danced at your funeral.” She spoke quietly, sitting by the window where she watched the rain fall, and hit against the glass, before catching a movement out of her eye and looking back at her. “ **I** danced at your funeral.”

Her hand hung awkwardly next to her head, and that was when she realised Alex was trying to tuck a strand of black hair behind her ear, causing her to do it herself when she gave up with a deep, exasperated sigh.

“It was actually quite amusing to watch.”

“I thought you had gone into the light already.”

“No, you just–” Another sigh escaped her lips, but this time, they quirked up in a small, tender smile, as if she knew that her following words were going to affect her somehow. “You just couldn’t see me through your grief, baby.”

“You were giving me signs–”

“No, it wasn’t me.” She bit the inside of her cheek, and Lena knew what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth to continue. “You have another ghost, honey. It – it’s an angry teenager, she might be dangerous.”

“None of that matters now.”

“Lena–”

“I’m so empty without you.”

“No, I–” Tears welled up in her eyes, and she wished more than anything at that moment to be able to reach out and **feel** the ghost — her wife, but she knew that was impossible – just like she knew whatever was coming out of her mouth afterwards was just as impossible. “I’m here, Lena, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t say that–” She whispered, shaking her head slightly. “You can’t stay, Alex. You have to – you need to cross over, it’s what comes next.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to.”

“Why?” Her voice was nothing but a broken whisper, and it was killing her not being able to comfort her.

“That’s just the way things are.”

“I don’t believe in the crossing over part.” Unconsciously, she put distance between them as soon as those words left Alex’s lips, and a frown formed on her already distressed features. “Not that it doesn’t happen, I just – I just don’t believe it has to happen.”

She shot up from where she was sitting, padding towards the centre of the room whilst she played nervously with her hands.

It was all so tempting, agreeing with Alex even though that was not how she saw things, accepting the possibility of keeping her trapped there – a place where she didn't belong to anymore – but she couldn’t do that.

That was not who she was. Even if it hurt **so** much the thought of having to live without the person she loved most.

“If you don’t believe it, that’s like saying you don’t believe in me.” Her words were cautious, slow, well-pondered – better than telling her she **had** to cross over.

“Of course I do, Lee. I just don’t think that in some cases it's the best option. I don’t want to leave you.”

“You **have** to cross over.” She honestly couldn’t believe she was trying to get rid of her wife’s ghost. It pained her more than anything watching as her face broke into a series of emotions, settling on deep sadness and the least bit of disappointment, before she released a heavy, shuddering breath. “I can’t keep you here, Alex. It’s not healthy, you don’t – you don’t belong here anymore.”

“I belong with you, Lena. I have to stay.”

“I know it feels that way.” Her voice broke, and tears spilled down her cheeks, making her wonder if she was ever going to be able to stop crying. “You think I want you to go? Because I don’t. I’d stay in this house forever if it meant being with you, but that can’t happen. You can’t stay.”

“Look, I don’t want you to give up on the idea of having a life without me, I–”

“This is my purpose. This is why I have this gift, to cross souls over and help them give their next step. You know that better than anyone else, Alex. It’s what’s best for you, so I can’t–”

Before she had the chance to finish that sentence, Alex was standing behind her, her fingers hovering slightly next to her lips and although she couldn’t quite feel her touch, she could still feel her energy.

“Shh, I know. Sweetheart, I know. I just want to be with you for now.”

She finally nodded, curling up against her as much as she could as her fingers threaded through her hair, alerting her of her touch though it was faint.

 

...

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Eliza stood by the door, finally ready to leave their house after Lena told her she was okay to be alone, and Alex wasn’t going to lie, it pained her watching her go.

“Yeah, I–” Her eyes swept over the room, and a slow, deep breath slid past her lips as she shrugged. “I need to get used to the silence.”

“I’m sure it won’t be easy.” Her mother answered, though there wasn’t malice in her tone. “She sure knew how to make her presence known.”

“Yeah...” A soft, actually genuine, chuckle escaped her plump lips as she nodded and wrapped her arms around herself tightly. “Somehow, I think she still does.”

Alex’s lips formed a faint smile by those words, even as her eyes seemed to be stuck on her mother, in her best way of a goodbye. 

“Don’t tell her I’m here, she wouldn’t be able to let go. Not after dad. Tell her I’d want this. For everyone to continue living their lives, to be happy – especially her, and Kara.”

“You know Alex…” She continued, her eyes never leaving her mother-in-law either. “This is what she’d have wanted. For us to find our way to continue on living and be happy.”

“Yeah, somehow, I think I know that.”

“She’d have wanted you to enjoy your life, Eliza, even if it’s hard–”

“…even if it hurts.” She continued to cite the words she wanted Lena to say. “Even if it seems like the end of the world. Losing dad was hard–”

“Losing Jeremiah was hard, and I know now just how hard it was.”

Finally, her soft brown eyes moved to her wife, watching as green ones filled with tears all over again, and her arms curled tighter around herself ever so slightly, seeking for the comfort only the spirit could offer.

“…but she would have wanted you to be happy.”

“I don’t want to lose you, you’ve become like a daughter to me.” Eliza confessed quietly, and this time, the tears that ran down her cheeks were for complete different reasons.

The once—before paramedic observed them both as they fell into an embrace, before her attention was pulled away by the same ghost that had been giving his wife odd signs. Before she could stop herself, she was chasing after the young girl, yelling out for her before she was transferred to an unfamiliar room.

“Who are you?” Se tried again, her voice slightly louder than before – not that it mattered, since no one but herself could listen to her words. “What do you want with my wife?”

“What are you doing?” The girl yelled, and Alex, then, realised she was standing behind a male that was sitting on a sofa, a bottle of something she could only assume was alcohol in his hand. “I’m right here! Why can’t you see me?”

An object flew across the room and she concluded that whoever that ghost was, she was definitely a lot stronger than her and she couldn’t bear the thought of her hurting Lena.

 

 

...

 

 

Her head tilted sideways, eyeing the carton of eggs lying on the kitchen island as she mustered all the strength she had left and attempted to move it, growling when it did nothing.

It was almost as if it was mocking her.

She had been so distracted she hadn’t even noticed her wife walking in the house, only feeling her presence when she entered the kitchen – not close to her at all, but to the other side of the room, as far away as she could.

“I just wanted to make you an omelette.”

She forced out a laugh, and Alex sighed, trying to step towards her only to see her folding her arms over her chest almost defensively.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you remember what you told me earlier about your mom? About her not being able to let go?”

She nodded, fearing whatever came next. 

She was so scared of the thought of leaving her, of having to cross over.

“You’re the one who can’t let go. And you have to, Alex, because this isn’t okay. For any of us.”

“Honey–”

“It’s not fair, for me to keep you here.” She continued, turning her back to her as she began to walk away, and the redhead inevitably followed.

“You’re not keeping me here, I’m keeping myself here.”

“Well, you can’t.”

“Why can’t we be together?”

“Because we’re not together, not in the real world. I wish, **so** much, for it to be true.” She spoke brokenly, facing her again with a soft pout on her lips and heavy tears in her eyes. “I wish I could stay locked up in this house forever, just to be with you. But I can’t – we can’t. You have to go.”

“Lena–”

“You don’t understand, Alex, I need you to go. I need you to leave.”

“My journey is with you. It **is** you. It’s always been this way.” She stepped forward, wincing when Lena turned her back to her once again to wipe her tears. “I can’t let it go just because I’m dead.”

“That’s exactly why you have to let it go.” Her posture straightened up, she noticed, and her tone turned slightly colder – but she knew better. She **knew** she didn’t mean any of it, she **knew** how much she wanted her to stay, too. “I don’t want you to come here anymore.”

Those words felt like a slap in the face, a sharp knife to the heart – the kind of pain you weren’t supposed to feel when you were dead.

“It just hurts both of us and it’s wrong, so if you love me, you’ll just leave.”

She could do nothing but comply, because she did love her. And if she was in that much pain because of her, she’d do everything it took to make her feel better.

 

...

 

This time, when she tried to use what was left of her energy, she actually managed to do some damage.

Mike’s gift was recent, but he had been hanging out with her wife enough to know a thing or two, so he was, undoubtedly, her best option. 

Of course, Alex could only imagine how _pissed_ the male was going to be after she turned his radio on at such a high volume in dead hours of the night, or after she made his lights flicker on and off, _or_ after she turned his TV on, too.

Once their friend was finally awake and rushing towards the electronic devices to shut them off, she stopped trying to mess with him, leaving only the lights on.

“Can I just say that, _no matter what else_ , messing with people like this is just the greatest?”

“You scared the _shit_ outta me!”

Unlike her wife, Mike couldn’t actually see him. His gift only allowed him to hear ghosts, so it was definitely amusing seeing his terrified expression as he turned everything off and didn’t see **her** standing right there, with a mischievous grin on her lips.

“…comes with the territory.”

“I feel like I’m close to a heart-attack ever since I met you people!”

“I’m sorry Mike, I was just trying to get your attention somehow. There’s so much I still have to learn about this ghost thing.”

“What are you doing here, Alex? Not that I’m not glad to hear you, but–” He headed towards his fridge to grab a bottle of water whilst the ghost merely watched. “…shouldn’t you be with your wife?”

“Look, she doesn’t want to see me, she just wants me to cross over.”

“Seriously? I thought you guys had the perfect marriage. What, you die and that’s enough to kick you to the curb? That’s weird.”

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips as she locked her hands behind her back, shaking her head whilst she processed those words.

“Sorry, that was maybe a little insensitive.”

“You think?”

A sigh.

“Look, I don’t need advice on how to deal with my marriage—if I still have one—, I just need your help.”

“So, do you or don’t you need my help?”

“Lena has a ghost.”

“Yeah, that’s not new, bud.”

“It’s a toxic ghost, Mike, and I’m scared it’s going to hurt her. I need you to deal with her.”

“Her, who? Lena?”

“No, the ghost.” She replied as if it was obvious, and then observed as their friend wandered across the room, waving his hands around whilst he looked everywhere but where she was standing.

“No offence, but don’t you think you’re in a better position than I am to deal with that?”

They both paused.

Alex – because she was trying too hard not to roll her eyes at him.

…and Mike because he only noticed then what his words meant.

“Sorry, insensitive again.”

“It’s fine, it’s just – she’s scared of me, that’s why I’m coming to you.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you’re not coming to me because you missed me?”

“Nevermind, this was a stupid idea.”

“No, wait – I’ll help.”

 

 

...

 

 

It turns out that the ghost that was haunting Lena was Oliver’s daughter – which, apparently, was part of the reason why she was so terrified of her, and why she refused to communicate with her when they were both, _well_ , **dead**.

She had died not that long ago, and he had gotten back to work earlier than supposed – which, unfortunately, resulted in her being killed.

Standing on his porch at that moment whilst her wife explained that her ghost was still around, Alex couldn’t help noticing the amount of pain and guilt the male carried with him, and it brought her to realise that she really didn’t at all blame the detective for shooting her.

It wasn’t hatred that kept her around.

 _As if_ she didn’t know that already. There was only _one_ thing that was strong enough to keep her around.

“She was all that I had.” Oliver spoke between sobs, and she couldn’t help but see how devastated the male still was. “I wasn’t ready to go back to work, I shouldn’t – I shouldn’t have been on duty. That way your wife would still be alive.”

Her eyes drifted back to the girl as she explained how she had hidden everything from him, how none of it had been his fault, how he couldn’t have noticed it – because all she was focused on was how she hoped that everyone would love her more if she was thin, and beautiful like women in magazines.

“I just wanted her back…” He continued in a soft, hushed tone, and Lena sat beside him. “I wanted my girl back.”

“She knows that you were always there for her.”

Her wife started, causing her to pour all her attention on her.

“…even if she didn’t realise it. Even when she thought you couldn’t see her.”

As that last sentence left her lips, her emerald eyes found her expressive brown ones, and that soft, small smile of pride she always held on her face when the brunette did what only she could do faded away.

…and she wondered if she was still talking to Oliver, or if she was delivering **her** some sort of goodbye speech.

“But why? Why would she do that to herself?”

She could somewhat hear those faint words, but she was no longer paying attention to that at all.

“Maybe she was scared. So scared that her whole life she would never be truly loved. Not completely. Not for really who she was.” Her voice was thick with emotion, and her lip trembled slightly as she held back tears. And her eyes – those beautiful green eyes never left her own. “Maybe now she sees that she was loved in that way. And that it was real.”

Her smile –

…god, her smile was so beautiful, but why did it hurt so much seeing it?

Why did it pained her **so** much when it was all she wanted to see?

“And once you've had that kind of love, it never goes away.”

She didn’t notice s **he** was crying until she watched those beautiful cheeks stained with tears again, even as she held a faint smile on her face.

“It just gets stronger. And it means that she can move on. And so can **you**.”

No.

She couldn’t possible mean –

No, she was still trying to get her to cross over.

Unable to acknowledge that, since she knew very well what that meant, she swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke up hoarsely, trying to control those overwhelming emotions she wished she didn’t have. Not anymore. Not when she was merely a ghost. 

“Tell him.”

“Alex is here too.” For the first time during that entire moment, Lena finally looked over at the broken detective, a genuine smile gracing her features – almost like she was letting go. Letting go of that deep hatred she had never felt before in her life and had found herself feeling when her wife was killed. “She doesn’t blame you.”

And, somehow, that made her feel so proud – because it sounded a lot like a; _I don’t blame you either_.

The girl finally got up, and headed towards the light, glancing over her shoulder to ask, “…are you coming?” and although her gaze was drawn to her wife, she didn’t need to look at her for some sort of permission.

“Not quite yet.”

She allowed her wife to finish the conversation, to let her co-worker know that his daughter had finally gone into the light, and then followed her to her car.

Silence surrounded them as she drove towards the town square, before she managed to speak up without fearing her telling her to leave.

“It wasn’t your fault either.”

“What?”

“What happened to me – it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t because of what you can do.”

“Then why?”

“I don’t know – I don’t think we can know. I don’t think it matters, Lee, if it did, we'd be able to stop every spirit that you help from meeting the terrifying fate they're often faced with.”

“Then I don’t want to know anything. It’d just be a lot easier.”

She **hated** how much she continued to hurt. Hated how she was right there, on the passenger seat next to her, and yet there seemed to be a large, painful distance between them. Hated how she had always been the one to soothe her pain and wasn’t able to do so anymore. Hated that she was **dead**.

“Lena, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Glancing forward, she took in their surroundings, finally noticing the reason why they were stuck in traffic, realising there had been an accident – and before she allowed herself to evaporate, she whispered, 

“Just remember that, okay? Remember how crazy I am about you.”

She watched as two paramedics tried to revive a female lying across the stretcher, waiting for them to officially declare her dead before glancing up at her wife one last time, and stepping in her body.

 

 

...

 

 

She couldn’t believe it.

Her eyes were stuck to her Alex’s ghost as she stood so close to that female, and she wondered why she was still there – why she refused to go into the light.

And why of all places, that was where she was drawn to.

It hurt, she wasn’t going to lie – the simple thought of never seeing the love of her life again, having to move on and continue her life without the one thing that made it so much better and bearable, but she also couldn’t stand the thought of keeping her there. Of trapping her to a place that wasn’t hers anymore.

For half a second, her gaze drifted to the injured female’s spirit, watching as she instantly crossed over before Alex took her place, and stepped in her body.

“Alex, no! _No_!”

Pushing her way through people, she stopped right next to her as she took as much air as she could in her lungs and began to cough, completely ignoring the shock that the medics were feeling upon seeing how their dead victim had miraculously come back to life.

“Alex?”

She struggled with the mask, trying to push it off her face while propping herself up on one of her elbows.

“Alex, it’s you – you’re back!”

Her brows knitted in confusion when she eyed her slowly, almost suspiciously, before small words were whispered, “… _do I_ ** _know_** _you_?” and her heart broke all over again.

 

...

 

_“There’s something about you.”_

 

_A light laugh was heard, and the paramedic couldn’t tell if her heart was racing, or had skipped a couple of beats._

 

_“That’s the best you can do?”_

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

_“There’s something about me?”_

 

_Lena mocked her, her tone dropping slightly in an attempt to imitate whatever she’d gotten out of what Alex was trying to say._

 

_“What, hey—that’s not how I sound!”_

 

_“But that’s how you flirt?”_

 

_“Flirt? Oh, no—”_

 

_A light blush covered her features, and the green—eyed woman couldn’t tell if that was ridiculously adorable, or tremendously charming._

 

_“I really believe that—the way you handled things back there.. there’s just something about you.”_

 

_“If I told you, you’d think I’m crazy.”_

 

 

...

 

 

…and yet she didn’t. She **never** thought she was crazy. What was she supposed to do without her?


End file.
